What do you see first when you look in the mirror?

When you look in the mirror, what do you notice first?

Do you see what looks good?

Or does your eye immediately go to the thing you don’t like?

After dressing thousands of women and men over the years, I’ve noticed something interesting.

We don’t all look in the mirror the same way.

Women will often come out of the dressing room and immediately tell me what’s wrong.

“I don’t like my arms.”

“This shows my stomach.”

“My legs are too short for this.”

Meanwhile, I’m standing there thinking how fabulous her shoulders look. Or how beautiful that color is on her. Or how the shape of the jacket makes her look taller.

Men tend to talk about it a little differently.

“Is this too tight?”

“Does this jacket fit properly?”

“Can I wear this to work?”

That’s not to say men don’t have insecurities about their appearance. Of course they do. In my experience, they simply don’t always express them in quite the same way.

But underneath it all, I think there’s something very human going on.

We’re remarkably good at looking for the problem.

And not only when it comes to clothes.

Think about how easily we notice the one thing that went wrong in an otherwise good day. The one critical comment among ten compliments. The one mistake in something we otherwise did really well.

We can do exactly the same thing when we look at ourselves.

We don’t simply look in the mirror.

We inspect.

And if you’ve spent years noticing your stomach, your arms, your height, your weight, your wrinkles, your shoulders, or whatever your particular “thing” happens to be, your eye knows exactly where to go.

It barely gives everything else a chance.

That’s something I see from a very different perspective when I’m dressing someone.

I’m looking at the whole person. Their shape, their proportions, their coloring, their personality. I’m thinking about what will flatter the body they have and what will make them look and feel their best.

I’m noticing what’s already there.

Great shoulders.

Beautiful coloring.

Long legs.

A wonderful waist.

A strong presence.

A fabulous smile that suddenly appears when someone puts on something that feels completely right.

Of course, not every piece of clothing is going to work for every person. Some proportions are more flattering than others. Certain colors make us come alive while others can drain us. Fit matters enormously.

But when something doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with the person wearing it.

It simply means it wasn’t the right piece for them.

Perhaps there’s an interesting experiment here.

The next time you get dressed and look in the mirror, notice where your eye goes first.

Then deliberately look again.

What looks good?

What do you like?

What feels like you?

Not as an exercise in pretending everything is perfect.

Simply as an exercise in changing the order in which you look.

Because maybe the mirror isn’t always telling us what we look like.

Sometimes it’s showing us what we’ve trained ourselves to look for.

Stylishly yours,

Charlotte